Friday, March 13, 2009

Sayonara Sucker

Until last week, I imagined I would not be going back to teaching until I had earned the Dr. in front of my name (or the Ed.D. behind it, depending on how you look at it), but in some weird conversation twist, the hub and I discussed the possibility of me going back to work next school year. Mostly the benefits seem to be obvious, more money (maybe we could actually make those hurricane repairs to the house before the next hurricane season), I'd finally be chipping away at those "years of experience" that the persnickety academicians require before you are allowed or invited to join their "Dr." club, and the opportunity to receive the outside stimulation for which my subconscious has been begging over the last eight years.
Really the only hang up is the kids, those pesky little offspring that need to be taken care of. My oldest two aren't an issue, they will be in school. Dealing with them will just be all logistics because my work day (assuming I get a job) will be about the same length as their school day.

My biggest issue is with my (almost) 2 year old.....I feel like I'm throwing him to the wolves.
"Sorry kid you were born too late", "Mommy is brain fried from too much breeding" or "Mommy's got to go now, but I hope you win big" I keep saying all these things to him in my head, how can I be so ready to go back to work, when the thought of putting his older brother's in day care used to leave me in a sloppy heap in the corner? See, it isn't so much the fact that we are putting him childcare that is bothering me, it is the fact that I couldn't even fathom doing it to his brothers. I feel guilty that I can't seem to guilt myself out of wanting to do this. (Are you starting to get why I call myself psychotic?) The irony is that he is the baby that we had to try so hard to have. We went through SO much to get him here and now I feel like were saying "Syonara SUCKER"

I don't know, I am sure my perspective is all wrong. There really is so much to be gained from taking on a second income, especially while we sit and watch others ,who work in the same industry as my husband, losing their jobs at a ridiculously fast pace. We would be foolish to sit here with our fingers crossed hoping we'll make it through, when I could have a perfectly good opportunity to provide us a little breathing room in the worst case (financial) scenario.

The "mom guilt" just really makes me want to vomit. See how twisted this is? I know I should feel bad, but I don't, then I start to feel bad because I don't feel bad, then I get pissed off that I"m feeling bad about not feeling bad. Seriously?
I surrender, its time for an adult beverage...

We're off to Remember the Alamo for Spring Break! I'm sure I'll return with tales to tell.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

The Un-Gifted

My almost 8 year old son was recently tested for placement in his school's GT (gifted and talented) program we are awaiting the results, but I have received some indications that he did not qualify. As a former teacher I am fully aware of how much of a joke this school district's GT program is, but still one hour of stimulating lesson plans a week is better than nothing. As a former "GT" student I am fully aware of how much it is not only a joke, but also how little being labeled "GT" really means to one's future success.

I know all this, logically I get that it really is no big deal, BUT when its your kid up for scrutiny you can't help but want others to see in them what you see. I can't help but be just a little disappointed that he didn't get in.

This kid is literally one of the smartest people I know, he can play music by ear, and well, I could go on an on, but I'll spare you. What I have been told (when I worked for this school district) is that there is a certain type of "GT" that they are looking for when they do the testing!?!? What, so they only have the desire to (attempt to) meet the needs of a certain type of student? What is to become of the rest of the riff-raff? In looking at the way this school looks at "GT" one could only assume that most of the world's population would not qualify, the fact that we don't see fit to take everyone else's learning one step further, to promote creative thinking, and to offer differing perspectives to the vast majority speaks volumes for our education system. Would we not be better served to also offer up the best to everyone else, since our world is mostly made up of everyone else?

In a conversation I had with my son's teacher a few weeks ago, she expressed to me her sincere hope that he would qualify because he so obviously needs something more, she can tell he gets bored and doesn't have to apply himself to learn the subject matter they present him. He also doesn't have the most accomodating personality so when he gets bored he becomes a major pain in the ass. Then just a few breaths later, she suggested that he has attentional issues and that maybe I should talk to his pediatrician about it because she just doesn't know how they will get him to sit thorough the entire TAKS test in 3rd grade. ) That, roughly translated, means "please drug your kid into submission so we can better deal with him." I must say that she did think he'll still be able to pass the test, but the more kids they can get to receive a "commended" rating, the better their standing with the state. I could blog for days about the pitfalls of teaching for the discrete skill memorization and regurgitation that the emphasis on standardized testing has led us to, not to mention how many more kids are alienated by this type of teaching, but then I'd be getting horribly off topic and I might never stop.

On that note, I'll go attend to my average, un-gifted, run-of-the-mill kids!

Ode to the Unhappy, Conservatism let you down?...

One of my facebook friends posted a link to this article and I loved it so much I thought I'd share. The complete title is

Ode to the unhappy
Conservatism let you down? Obama nothing more than Bush II? Oh, you poor thing.

I haven't blogged in a while because I am swamped in school work, children and a house that should probably be condemned, I'm pissed at my husband for blowing off my birthday, and I am completely exasperated with my seven year old's elementary school because they want me to drug him into submission while telling me he is too smart for their classrooms, but not the right kind of smart for a better one (WTF?). Once I get things under control around here, I will tell you all about my Garden of Death, Candy Farts, my senators response, and I might even bitch a little about some other things.
Until then.....