Sunday, April 24, 2011

8 Reasons I think Easter is lame.

*I don't hate Jesus, I'm just not Christian.
*A bunny that hides eggs is STUPID, no bunnies hide anything at my house.
*I DO NOT need any unsolicited chocolate at my house.
*I don't eat ham.
*Deviled eggs are overrated, but I do love the irony of serving them at an Easter lunch;)
*I don't want to take leftovers home, my in-laws get offended by this.
*I have found it is better to lie and say that I do celebrate Easter than to tell people the truth. I mean really, is there anything better than someone trying to save me and my poor heathen children in the middle of the grocery store?
* I do NOT want to go to church with you, or you or you, and I'm tired of explaining why.

On the other hand, those cadbury mini-eggs are freaking fabulous, disregard the 8 bullet points above if that is the Easter you'd like to share with me.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Things to think about...

I had an MRI of my brain today. I thought I would get claustrophobic, but I didn't.
It wasn't too bad.
It's a rather sobering experience when a doctor wants to check your brain for tumors and such. I'm not all that worried, but I'd be lying if I said that I haven't been pondering the possibilities....
I just want to live long enough to mother my children into adulthood and a brain tumor could get in the way of that.
I'm really not worried.
It is funny, though, how long it has taken me to get to know myself.
I just realized that when I worry, you know,the neurotic-all encompassing, stomach wrenching type of worry, it's usually when I have absolutely no reason to.
When I have cause for worry, I get this weird calm about me, I get all philosophical and, to be honest, kind of douchey.
See what a big person I am for being able to admit that about myself? Yeah, I'm impressed by that too.

Another thing I learned today...
Don't fart in an MRI machine when you still have 40 minutes of scan to sit through...

Saturday, April 2, 2011


I have a sick and twisted sense of humor, this is a fact about myself I've never tried to hide (not that I could if I wanted to). I laugh at inappropriate things, often in an otherwise quiet room. I say things that, I think, are hilarious, but other people find offensive. I crack myself up, while people stare at me with a blank expression. You get the point!
One of the things that I find totally hilarious is when someone falls down. I know I'm not alone in this, but I am one of the few people that lack the first, seemingly instinctual, reaction of finding out if the person is okay BEFORE I bend over laughing at them. I can't help it, if someone falls down (or even has a near miss) I'm probably going to laugh until I cry, fart or snort. The time I am most ashamed of was when I was starting a new teaching job (for principal bitchface) and I was attending all the new teacher orientations before the school year. For one of the trainings we had to ride a bus to another location, and, well, long story short, the lady directly behind me on the bus BUSTED HER ASS coming down the stairs to get off. My reaction was not Kosher and I did not make any friends that day, but it wasn't completely my fault since the lady made some really ridiculous groaning noises after her tumble. I'm pretty sure if I had tried not to laugh I would've stroked out right there. I did feel a twinge of guilt when she showed up the next day wearing some sort of ridiculous, fully-loaded, ankle-boot, but whatever!
The Kharma part is coming, just stay with me!
About 4 months ago, I got a sinus infection that moved to my ear. My ear just felt full and I couldn't hear anything out of it. I went to the Dr. a few times, trying to get my ear back to functional and, well, that has yet to happen. This week, I finally got serious and went to an ENT, not just any ENT, THE ENT in Houston. His report was not what I wanted to hear, I have sudden onset nerve deafness in my ear that is probably permanent. I can still hear most of the range of human voice, but I will have trouble hearing deep men's voices (this may be a benefit living in my house). Because I am young, and otherwise healthy, I have to do some tests to rule out all the big bad causes like tumors and such, there is a very low chance of these actually being the cause, (no, I'm not concerned).
And now for the Kharma...
What he thinks the diagnosis will end up being is something called cochlear hydrops which is often the beginning of Miniere's disease. Miniere's disease isn't fatal, but can be debilitating because of the sudden and intense episodes of vertigo which cause people to...



I'm hoping this is not the diagnosis, but looking at all the options, this one isn't the worst. The vertigo will go away eventually after something called "burn-out" which means total deafness in the ear. I just hope I'm not surrounded by people like me, when I randomly drop to the floor. Someone's gonna have to help me get back up....