Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Sibling Psychosis

I grew up as an only child, even though I have 3 half brothers, 2 ex step siblings and 1 current step sibling, I'm not even going to mention the 3 biolgical half siblings that I have never met, but you get the point. I always refered to myself as a "lonely" child because I felt the absence of siblings so deeply and so often. I was so sure that I was missing out on something so wonderful, a permanent best friend, a partner in crime, the other half of my dynamic duo. Now that I am a mother to 3 brothers, I realize that I might have dodged a bullet by not having to share a roof with someone with a similar DNA profile.

My kids have mastered the art of fighting. I don't know if it should be labeled fighting as much as insanelyintensesuperfreakinannoyinggettingoneachothersandmylastnerves type of interactions. They are like ninjas, I never actually see the infractions I just get to feel the effects of them.

I swear to you that I have had to ban each of them from making eye-contact with the other two.

I have had to draw an invisible line in the car that none of them is allowed to cross, any infraction is met with a glitch in the matrix so devestating that life as we know it cannot exist.

The middle child can inhale in such a way that it sends the others into complete hysterics, the oldest has this screechy sound that he makes wich sends both the others into meltdown. The youngest is 3 and, well, that says enough right there.

They also know how to touch or move something in each other's rooms just enough to piss the other one off. Then I get the ever recognizable, "Mooooooom" alert that a wrongdoing has taken place.

My 6 year old called my 9 year old an asshole the other day, and well, he was right, but I had to be a good mom and punish him for the colorful use of language (probably not as harshly as an actual 'good mom' would have). I have to say I was glad he said it though, because someone needed to.

The situation is further exacerbated by the fact that the 9 year old does not have a door to his room. He lost it in a filibuster-style door slamming campaign in 2007. This leaves all of his posessions at the mercy of his 3 year old brother and the dog, who is not allowed upstairs.

I'm pretty sure one of us is going to end up mamed, psychologically damaged or a with a serious drinking problem, from all this sibling togetherness this Summer.


m said...

oh wow. i wish i could have heard #2 say that...sounds hilarious.

what did #1 do to deserve that?

a friend of mine use to fight with her brother ALL the time like that. her mom made them say ten things nice about each other every time they said something mean...and when they went to bed, she made them say "i love you."...seems like a dream, but now they are best friends. THOUGHTS?

The Suburban Psychotic said...

Larry makes the boys hug it out when they have been fighting. They just have to stand there for a certain amount of time hugging each other and saying I Love you. I just can't be that mean!!