Sibling Psychosis

I grew up as an only child, even though I have 3 half brothers, 2 ex step siblings and 1 current step sibling, I'm not even going to mention the 3 biolgical half siblings that I have never met, but you get the point. I always refered to myself as a "lonely" child because I felt the absence of siblings so deeply and so often. I was so sure that I was missing out on something so wonderful, a permanent best friend, a partner in crime, the other half of my dynamic duo. Now that I am a mother to 3 brothers, I realize that I might have dodged a bullet by not having to share a roof with someone with a similar DNA profile.

My kids have mastered the art of fighting. I don't know if it should be labeled fighting as much as insanelyintensesuperfreakinannoyinggettingoneachothersandmylastnerves type of interactions. They are like ninjas, I never actually see the infractions I just get to feel the effects of them.

I swear to you that I have had to ban each of them from making eye-contact with the other two.

I have had to draw an invisible line in the car that none of them is allowed to cross, any infraction is met with a glitch in the matrix so devestating that life as we know it cannot exist.

The middle child can inhale in such a way that it sends the others into complete hysterics, the oldest has this screechy sound that he makes wich sends both the others into meltdown. The youngest is 3 and, well, that says enough right there.

They also know how to touch or move something in each other's rooms just enough to piss the other one off. Then I get the ever recognizable, "Mooooooom" alert that a wrongdoing has taken place.

My 6 year old called my 9 year old an asshole the other day, and well, he was right, but I had to be a good mom and punish him for the colorful use of language (probably not as harshly as an actual 'good mom' would have). I have to say I was glad he said it though, because someone needed to.

The situation is further exacerbated by the fact that the 9 year old does not have a door to his room. He lost it in a filibuster-style door slamming campaign in 2007. This leaves all of his posessions at the mercy of his 3 year old brother and the dog, who is not allowed upstairs.

I'm pretty sure one of us is going to end up mamed, psychologically damaged or a with a serious drinking problem, from all this sibling togetherness this Summer.